This is seriously bugging the shit out of me.

So the story goes like this:

I'm a young woman. I like to think I'm reasonably attractive. I know I have what guys view as a pretty good body, though I don't know that it'll ever be good enough in my eyes. In any case, I get hit on often enough that I know I'm not a troll. I recently got out of a long-term relationship and I'm beginning to enjoy the single life again, but I'm not looking for totally meaningless random sex. If I wanted that, I'd just go to the bar and go home with a stranger for a one-night stand. Unfortunately, that's a little too dangerous. I'm not really excited at the idea of STDs or unintended pregnancy, nevermind the chances of the guy being a total psychopath and raping and murdering me. I prefer to keep my sexual experiences among those that I at least know somewhat.  It's safer in a lot of ways and just as much fun.

So that brings me to this guy at work. He's smoking hot. We've been flirting since I joined the company last summer. The flirting got really intense for awhile.  To me, it was like verbal foreplay. Like I said, I know I'm not a troll, but that's not the same thing as believing I'm hot enough for this guy, so when he called me out on it and told me to put up or shut up, I wimped out. I'm such a chickenshit... I backed down and played it off like it was all a joke.

I was kicking myself before that day even ended. WTF is wrong with me? A hot guy that I'm insanely attracted to and want to sleep with tells me he wants me and I said NO?! I'm so stupid! I beat myself up over this for a lot longer than I care to admit to you all.

Things go back to normal. It didn't affect our friendship at all, and we just went back to flirting. We even talked about it a few weeks later, and he let me know that he'd been serious. (At least the beating myself up over it wasn't for no reason!) But things were what they were and we remained work friends.

Until a month ago. I was taking the morning off of work and was woken up by my cell phone. I was a little surprised that he was calling me since we didn't really talk outside of work. But it was him. He'd heard a rumor that I'd been offered a job in another state. When I confirmed that as fact, he said we'd have to "knock boots" before I left. I laughed and told him I wasn't planning to take the job, and he said we could do it anyway. I didn't really say anything one way or the other but in my head was screaming "Yes!", and we talked for a few more minutes.

When I went in to work that afternoon, he was there. And a few hours later, we were alone.  We had a quickie, which I was fine with.  He had plans with his friends and I knew that before I went to meet him.  And when I left, he said we'd have to do it again sometime.

And since then... it's just not happening.  I've tried.  I've called him a couple of times, even a text message (I'm not a texter and I don't think he is either).  I've brought it up (discreetly) at work and he agrees that we need to get together.  I suppose it could just be politeness and he's not really interested, but I don't think that's true.  He definitely enjoyed it.  He's even brought it up himself a couple of times that we should have a repeat.  Yet when I agree and try to settle on when, the only answer I get is "soon".

What the hell is going on here?  With minimal effort, he'd get laid, but he's not putting in that effort.  I don't doubt my skills in the sack... no, I'm good there.  There's very little that's off-limits to me.  I don't think it's that he doesn't respect me anymore and thinks I'm a whore.  He knows I don't sleep around, and I've never heard him speak that way about any woman and he's really not one for judging people anyway.  So why the hell can't I get any sex from this guy?  What the fuck?!  I need sex!


_{--By the way, my disclaimer on the whole thing. Please spare me the judgement from those who feel I shouldn't have sex like this. I've had a couple long-term relationships, and would give anything for another chance with either of those men, but it's impossible. The last relationship didn't end that long ago and I'm not ready to jump into anything serious right now. I just want something light and fun. Would I date this guy? Sure. But we're too different for this to turn into anything long-term anyway, so why even start down that road? We have a lot in common, but the things that we differ on are just too great for it to ever last. That's why I want to keep this as casual as possible with him.--}